Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just got carded by a ten year old.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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