I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
