filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You can't just leave with hair like that
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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