can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
cat food counts as protein by the way
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
