Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
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you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
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i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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