Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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