just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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