He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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