and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
