I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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