He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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