it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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