You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
