You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
