Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize