It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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