Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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