I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
