oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
