Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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