Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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