i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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