Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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