It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Sext me about skeletons
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
