I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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