do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
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At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
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You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
how drunk are you?
Several
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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