Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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