We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
