bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
