She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
