Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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