i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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