Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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