Your face is a jimmy john
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
