1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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