Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
