is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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