there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
