ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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