I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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