Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
