when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
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We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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