Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
