I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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