awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
