i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
