I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
