you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
