Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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