I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
