It's like God shit irony all over that family
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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