Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
