Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
