i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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