I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
