Whod you bang
What a fucking waste of an outfit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
