Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
